so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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