Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize