Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
