You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
