I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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