I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
