Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
