oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
