she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
