I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
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