Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
