almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
