We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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