when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
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idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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