bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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