when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
