I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
