also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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