why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
