When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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