Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
