he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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