the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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