You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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