This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
