you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
