I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
