After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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