Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
