I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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