I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
