i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
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