my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm sobbing to NWA
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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