How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He better not be in your backpack
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
