how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize