you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
