yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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