so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She is in my trunk
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
