Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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