"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
as a side note pls kill me
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