I just saw a hot homeless man
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
