It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
