is wine microwaveable?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
