Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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