i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
