I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
