I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize