He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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