Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
