Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
