i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
