hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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