I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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