there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
