I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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