Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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