this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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