the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
