so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
