Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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