I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize