i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
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there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
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Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.